Philosophers Explained through Donuts

So my sister, who does not philosophy, sent me a picture of something someone had written on a whiteboard, and I laughed so hard at it.  This page is my transcription of it, with a bunch more stuff to add.  This is..... Philosophers Explained through Donuts.

I love this because it basically summarizes the core of each philosopher's idea in a sentence.  One of the best reviews I have is right here!

Heraclitus: You can never eat the same donut twice.
Socrates: What is a donut?
Plato: All donuts share in an ideal "donut-ness"
Aristotle: A donut contains its donut-ness.
Augustine: Donuts need to be fully donut.
Descartes: A donut's hole proves the existence of the donut.
Locke: Donuts taste good to me.
Hume: Donuts exist because I imagine donuts.
Kant: A "donut" is my total experience of the donut.

Wollstonecraft: Women deserve donuts too!

Mill: Donuts are good if they make people happy.

Kierkegaard: I have faith that donuts are tasty.

Marx: Everyone deserves a donut!

Nietzsche: Stop at nothing to get a donut.

Wittgenstein: Fried pastry, zero, tire, parking lot spin.

Beauvoir: Patriarchy is responsible for the shape of a donut.

Anselm: Donuts are absolutely perfect, so they must exist.

Heidegger: The donut exists.  Or does it?!

Camus: The only question is if the donut is worth eating or not.

Spinoza: Donuts are everywhere in everything.  Love them.

Zeno: You can never finish eating a donut.

Epicurus: If God existed, everyone would have donuts.

Machiavelli: A Prince must steal all the donuts.
Hobbes: It's better having a crappy donut over no donuts at all.
Hegel: Focus not on the donut, but the steps in making one.